Wednesday, August 24, 2005

No Mulligan's

I am not one to consider myself a golfer by any stretch however I do golf. One of the things that is nice about golfing with friends who are just out to have a good time is that if you drive one off in the woods, you can casually say I am going to take a mulligan. This means that the last shot you hit didn't really happen. It's like this little magical word, that reverses time and allows you to make a different and hopefully better decision. I am feeling like that in my life right now. I would like to take a mulligan, or maybe two. But no such luck life rules don't include mulligans. Now some things I wouldn't change. I love my wife of now 10 yrs. And my very cool, sometimes bratty 4 year old son. However much in my life right now I would love to be given the opportunity to see if instead of hitting it off in the woods, that I might actually hit the fairway. I guess the good news is that we all have the opportunity to make different and better decisions in our future. Sometimes it bewilders me as to how I have gotten to the place that I am now. I have seem to have lost all motivation, and am just trudging my way through each day with no real impact and I just can't seem to get out of it. I really could use some time away, but it just doesn't seem possible. I read about and hear of people who have taken sabbaticals, wow that must be nice. I really need Jesus to find me, and lead me out of this. Yes I know I need to be looking for him and listening to his voice but sometimes when you've been wounded and beat up by life and ministry it just seems like you need someone to carry you out.


Blogger Josh said...

and sometimes you feel like burning the whole place now and sometimes you get a small glimpse of the "other" when you're talking with a student? and you get pissed, and angry, and feel guilty for feeling pissed and angry. and then you feel hopeful. and ultimately you just feel bipolar? welcome to my world. want to do lunch? :)

9:17 AM  
Blogger KJones said...

Remember the seemingly impossible, but truly 'overcomable' (made-up-word?) obstacles, hehe. I'll wait on that guest list from you or Shana :)

10:17 AM  

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